


Raising Robots (It's harder than it looks.)

by rnarvcl



Category: Iron Man (Comic), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Domestic Avengers, Family, Gen, Human Jarvis (Iron Man movies), Human Robots, Humor, Hurt/Comfort, Kid!Fic, Team Bonding
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-05-14
Updated: 2014-05-14
Packaged: 2018-01-24 17:42:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,037
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1613717
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rnarvcl/pseuds/rnarvcl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Stark?” </p><p>“They aren’t mine Cap, I swear, they aren’t stop giving me that loo-“ </p><p>“Actually, they are.” </p><p>The Captain and the engineer looked up to see a teenaged boy. He was carrying a toddler, who seemed to be asleep in his arms. </p><p>“JARVIS.” Tony stated. </p><p>OR: The one where magic causes Tony's robots to turn into kids and the team has to make do.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Raising Robots (It's harder than it looks.)

Tony walked into his workshop, Steve dragging his broken and dented suit behind him. They had had a face-off with one of Thor’s old pals- Amara or Amory or something. He hasn’t really been paying attention, more concerned about saving his ass from the crazy spells she was throwing.

The first floor of the tower was more or less completely thrashed. Tony was just glad that the floor hadn’t broken down or else his workshop would have been a distant dream.

The metal of the suit clunked noisily as Steve threw it down on the workshop floor. Tony sniffed.

“Hey, watch it old man. That suit saved your ass today.”

“This?” Steve asked, lightly kicking his foot against the pile of metal. It broke down even, the left arm coming completely off.

Tony shrugged. “No worries, it’ll be fixed and ready to zoom in…JARVIS?”

“Erm, Sir?”

Both Tony and Steve stilled at the sound. JARVIS sound, which normally came loud and clear from the ceiling, seemed soft and hesitant. And it seemed to be coming from behind the panels where Tony kept his armour.  

“JARVIS? You sound…weird?” From the corner of his eyes, he say Steve pick up the flat backing of his armour. Guy could use anything as a shield.

“Erm, sir, I believe you should come see-“ before the sentence could be finished, however, two children came barrelling out of the corner and attached themselves to Tony. Kids. Who looked no older than ten. In Tony’s high-risk workshop.

Steve dropped his makeshift shield.

“Tony!” The girl cried out. She looked close to tears. “The-the-the, there was this sound and I,” she threw up her hands and wiggled her fingers. “I became like you!”

The boy still had his hands latched around Tony’s leg, and he didn’t seem to be planning to let go anytime soon.

“Stark?”

“They aren’t mine Cap, I swear, they aren’t stop giving me that loo-“

“Actually, they are.”

The Captain and the engineer looked up to see a teenaged boy. He was carrying a toddler, who seemed to be asleep in his arms. He looked tired.

“JARVIS.” Tony stated because the last time he checked, no one else around the tower had a British background.

Jarvis nodded gravely, although the intimidating effect was lost with the kid’s head tucked on his shoulder. “I’m sure you can figure out what happened, Sir.”

Tony glanced at the kids, still clinging onto him. Then Jarvis. Then the toddler, who seemed to be waking up.

“No, no, no, that bitch Amy-“

“Wow, what a time to be alive.” Steve stated. Tony hit him.

-

Tony had since managed to peel the girl and the boy, (You and Butterfingers, respectively, which baffled Tony considerably) off him and had dumped them unceremoniously onto the couch he had. Steve had sat down beside them, gingerly, and they went to attack him instead.

Tony pointed at the toddler. “Dummy.”

“I’m afraid so, sir.”

Dummy lifted his head up, looking confused. Upon seeing Tony though, he exclaimed out lound.

“To-nee!” he babbled, lifting his arms up. “To-nee!”

Jarvis stared at Tony. For someone so young and scrawny, he looked considerably threatening.

“Okay, okay, _fine.”_

Tony plucked Dummy off of Jarvis, holding him awkwardly. Dummy seemed happy enough, and launched into a series of baby talk.

“Sir? What do you suggest we do about this? I’m rather helpless at gathering any useful information right now.”

“I ran out of charge!” You shouted, before flopping down on Steve’s lap. Steve patted her head.

Dummy was starting to chew on Tony’s collar.

Jarvis’ stomach growled. He blushed, which was a startling sight.

“How about we get you kids some food first?”

-

They travelled up to the communal area, where the rest of the Avengers were no doubt gathered. You rode on Steve’s shoulder the entire way, and Tony tried to recall when he’d coded her to be so… _brash._

It was pretty amusing to see his teammates faces when they stepped out of the elevator, and Tony wished that he had taken a picture.

Natasha was, unsurprisingly, the first to speak up. “Wow, Tony, guess your file wasn’t so complete after all.”

Tony could see Pepper getting ready to say something, and he busied himself with explaining. “Thor, your friend she…did _something_ and-“ he waved his hands around for awhile before pointing to Jarivs. “This is Jarvis.” He pointed to the twins. “You, Butterfingers and Dummy.” He said, waving the toddler around.

The entire room was silent for a while, before You shouted about being hungry.

-

When Tony had settled down the kids, Bruce placed a pizza in front of them. They practically _attacked_ their food, all except Dummy, who had his fingers in his mouth.

“I’ll go get something for him.” Bruce said , before wandering off. You chocked on a slice of pizza and Tony when to thump her back.

“So, Tony, billionaire, playboy, genius, philanthropist, father of four?” Clint was leaning against the table, staring at him with a shit-eating grin on his face. Tony groaned.

“Thor, when are you going to fix this?”

“Hold on, Man of Iron. I have to contact my brother first. He’s a great sorcerer, he should be able-“

“Isn’t if funny how Butterfingers and You look like they could be Steve’s.” Pepper asked. It was true, they both had very fair hair and light eyes.

“Any why is Jarvis dressed in a suit?” Natasha said, pointing at him. The teen in question glanced up for a second, thought better about answering and went pack to stuffing his face. Apparently hunger had made him lost all his manners that he had been programmed with.

“Because I made him posh.” Tony explained. The other three kids, on the other hand, were dressed in pretty standard t-shirts and shorts of varying colours.

“His eyes can’t be natural.” Bruce said, walking in with a packet of crackers and some milk.

Tony nodded. Jarvis eyes had the exact same shine as Tony’s arc reactor, albeit slightly dimmer.

Dummy happily ate his crackers.

“Crackers.” Bruce said.

“Cwak-errrs.” He parroted.

Natasha started to braid You’s hair so it stayed out of her face.

Tony could feel a headache coming on.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!  
> Drop by my [Tumblr](http://xlypses.tumblr.com/) ~


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